To Ava s mom: the gift of grandparents 

Last November 3 was Ava s birthday and her grandfather Willie shared a post saying he loved and missed his “10” and how it’s been a painful 179 days apart from Ava.
To Ava s Mom

I am a single mom too and if you love your daughter and yourself you will allow Ava to experience the love of her grandparents.

I myself did not experience the love of grandparents.  They died too soon.   This unique perspective allowed me to appreciate and observe the love of grandparents.   

My son grows in the love of his grandmother.  I say it in the present tense because even when she was critically and has long passed on, he is a being that was indelible marked with the feeling of being loved totally and completely  for himself.   There is a quiet clear confidence of knowing he is special and of consequence in this universe.    He is acutely aware he can love and receive love.

He has memories of their secret pact to break his parent’s “no soda” rules.    He knows grandma saved him the best donut for him and savor watching him eat it.  He heard and felt everyday the warmth of complete acceptance.   He observed how he can inspire his “Lola” to be braver when he was on the room.    He felt his prayers were special and he had a clear line to God.   He felt his opinion mattered in the household and would offer it without being asked.   He learned to appreciate soap operas and she learned to watch Disney channel.   

I hope you don’t just allow Ava to love grandpa Willie but you experience the atmosphere when two souls truly care for one another.    The last I saw them they were just swimming in a pool of laughter, affection and absolute trust.   She was brave in the deeper parts of the pool and funny in the shallows.  He was stronger despite his years and quite flexible despite his gout.     I truly believe that basking in the warmth of affection and understanding will over time allow her to feel the sunshine even in winter.  This gift is priceless.   I also hope you will allow yourself to breathe in the companionship of a kindred soul who truly  cares for Ava.  It will give you the confidence to know that whatever you do with and for Ava—- if you sprinkle it with love it will be meaningful.    

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One Comment Add yours

  1. I am a grandmother to my two adorable grandchildren, Jacob 5 and Amelie 18 months. I love them dearly. I am so lucky to have them in my life and so lucky that they live locally so I see and look after them regularly. It is lovely to read your post though to remind the grandparents amongst us of the reciprocity of that love. I know that Jaky loves me because we have spent a lot of time together and had a lot of fun. He trusts me and knows that I love him unconditionally. In this vast world he is special! In time Amelie, I hope will feel the same. But it will be as a result of a relationship that develops between us, and that involves time and effort. Thank you for pointing out the importance of the grandparent grandchild relationship.

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